Failure, like success, is a choice. Many may disagree with me but it is true that failure, be it in life or in business, doesn’t just happen. It is the product of dumb decisions and the unwillingness to carry on and try harder.

Just like everyone else, I’ve made really bad decisions in my life.

When I was younger, I ran professionally and trained to represent my country in the 2000 Olympics. However, I encountered several setbacks – pulled my hamstring twice and had a serious foot injury that required surgery.

By the time my I pulled my second hamstring, I decided to give up. Back then, I believed that going to the Olympics wasn’t my destiny.

Looking back, my Olympic dream didn’t materialize because I chose to give up, and NOT because I was fated to fail miserably.  When I could have told myself that I need to have physical therapy and rehabilitation, I chose to let go of that cherished life goal and fail.

Luckily for me, I matured immensely.

As I grew older, I learned that I could move on from that failure and pursue other goals.

And with sheer determination, I made things happen.

As an engineer, marketing professional, and work-at-home mom, I’ve committed to owning my decisions, regardless the results they produced.

And I’m proud to say that all things considered, I have made smart choices that led me to success and happiness.

But why do people choose to fail?

It breaks my heart whenever I hear people say that they failed because success just wasn’t in the cards for them.  I am awash with feelings of empathy after hearing people say they didn’t pursue the life they really want because of the fear of failure.

As a business coach, I connect with lots of people who are struggling with fear of failure and other self-limiting behaviors that have severely affected their family lives, business endeavors, and professional careers.

Truth be told, it is not fate or bad luck that caused them to fail.  It is self-doubt, low self-esteem, and the belief that
not all people are worthy of success that leads to a person’s unconscious decision to choose failure.

Failure is, indeed, a product of free will. Whenever we encounter setbacks in life, our perception of and attitude towards the challenges and life-changing moments determine the outcome.

If we are unable to move on after a setback and refuse to make the most out of opportunities or take on new challenges, then we fail. But if we are responsible for our decisions, whether right or wrong, and then work towards self-improvement, we have rejected failure and chose to win.

How do we reject failure with a winner’s mindset?

Now, this is very important – TO REJECT FAILURE IS TO HAVE A WINNER’S MINDSET.

A winner is someone who works at self-improvement, someone who has a healthy ego and self-esteem.

A winner welcomes challenges with a “never fear mentality” and looks at them as opportunities for growth.

A winner is someone who develops healthy habits and nips negative ones in the bud.

And lastly, a winner embraces his or her own imperfections but at the same time knows how to dream big.

Here are a few examples of a winner’s mindset:

I need to be the best version of myself.

Fact: You can’t be the best at everything you do. But try to be the best in a few things you’re really good at.  Be passionate about your craft and at the very least, always strive hard to become the best version of yourself.

I listen but I also trust my instincts.

Every successful person in the world has a role model – someone he or she looks up to and listen to. To become successful, you have to surround yourself with positive and like-minded individuals who can motivate you to do more. However, you should have confidence in yourself and trust your instincts instead of just following other people’s lead.  Acknowledge that daily decisions will impact your life, business, or relationships greatly. So you need to ask yourself everyday if you are making the right choices. Of course, the right decisions, more often than not, are always the hardest ones to make.

I act on my ideas.

Everyone comes across a great idea from time to time.  What sets a winner from those who fail is that when he or she has an idea, acting on it is a given.  Unless you implement or execute it, ideas are nothing but fluff you have written on a piece of paper. The same can be said for your goals. If you don’t act on them, the possibility of success is bleak.

I welcome every chance to lead.

Winners welcome opportunities to lead the pack or a group. They are great team players, too, but they will jump at every opportunity to share their skills and talents and improve themselves in the process.

I am happy with my accomplishments but I can do more.

This may sound tiring but true winners are never complacent. They treat themselves as unfinished projects and continue to strive at self-improvement and work towards becoming a self-actualized person.

Failure makes me stronger.

Nobody likes to fail but it is a fact of life. But instead of giving up when they fail, winners believe that failures not only make them stronger but wiser as well. They analayze their decisions and choices and reflect on what they could do differently if presented with a similar situation.  They learn from their mistakes, move on, and take extra care never to make the same dumb decisions again.

Success is a lifelong race.

Success doesn’t come to those who only think short term.  Because it isn’t about reaping instant rewards but the achievement of your long-term goals. That’s why those who seek to uplift themselves through “get rich quick” schemes are only setting themselves up for inevitable failure. Reaching one’s life and business goals takes years and years of preparation. Think of it as a marathon, rather than a sprint.

Is your small business on the brink of failure?  Are you trying to find ways to help your struggling home-based business survive? Join me in a free coaching session and I will share with you my best tips on how to pull your business out of a slump.

Let me know what you thought of this post by leaving a comment below. Did it serve you in your business today?


I’m Hilary De Freitas

The Marketing Mom

My Mission: To Bring as Many Moms Back Home, Earning a Living Online and Living the Freedom Lifestyle!

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Hilary De Freitas is a wife, mother, engineer and marketer. She is dedicated to helping mothers build a successful online business from their passions, so that they don't have to choose between career and family. Hilary has been involved in network marketing, affiliate marketing and digital marketing consulting for the past 10 years. Some of the links in this post are 'affiliate links.' This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission.

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